Graves' Disease Resource Page

Home
Personal Stories
Support Group
NGDF Conferences
Graves Links
Living with Graves
Replacement Hormone

About Me



SITEMAP

 

 

  PAULA'S  STORY

Beginning in 1993, I entered the worst 3 years of my life. In June of that year our then 2 y.o. daughter broke her leg in her first attempt at climbing out of her crib. She was in a cast for 3 months. The following month, my Mom died of colon cancer. In January of 1994 I was called into jury duty and ended up as a juror on a civil trial that lasted 4 1/2 months. After the trial, I had a bone fusion done to my right ankle and was in a cast for 6 months. In August of '94 my Dad died - 13 months after my Mom. I inherited their house, so with me in a cast and unable to help pack, we moved into my parents' house.

After going through all this stress in my life, I phoned my HMO one day to say that I felt like I was "losing my mind." I hooked up with a psychiatrist there and was treated for depression. Not hard to understand after all the crap that our family had been through. During this time I would fly off the handle very easily and had zero tolerance. I would cry at the drop of a hat and my voice got really high pitched. I felt restless all the time and couldn't sit still. While I was being treated by the psychiatrist I started to develop hand tremors. My Dr. attributed it to anxiety. A few weeks later my menstrual periods started getting further and further apart and lighter and lighter. I called my GP who told me I was probably entering peri-menopause. This made sense (I was 43 at the time) and surely this explained the wild mood swings I was having and my intolerance to heat. I remember sitting in work in the dead of winter with a short sleeved shirt on and a small fan on my desk while my co-workers would have on heavy sweaters and be shivering.

Despite all these weird symptoms, I felt that mentally I was at the point where I could start accepting all the bad stuff that had happened to me and felt that I could cope with it. My last day of therapy was one morning in February '95. When I went into work after that doctor's session, I was told by my supervisor that I had to find a new position at Harvard University where I worked. My boss' appointment as Chairman of the department was up and the incoming Chairman wanted an assistant who spoke Spanish. I felt totally devastated and broke into tears as I ran to the phone to call my therapist whose office I had left an hour earlier.

After many interviews (which were extremely difficult to handle due to my sweaty palms and forehead and my shaking hands - very embarrassing!) I finally accepted a job as secretary to a high powered, totally spasmodic Harvard Business School professor. I started working for him in June '95. This guy was a textbook "Type A" personality. He would literally stand over my shoulder and watch me type on the computer while he waited for his work to be done. I started making terrible mistakes and just couldn't concentrate on my work. My hands would shake like crazy. A few times I would feel so overwhelmed that I would have to run to the ladies' room to cry hysterically and it would take all my strength to return to my desk.

During this time I would feel heart palpitations and have terrible anxiety attacks. Again, I attributed it to stress. One morning I got into work and my heart was pounding so hard that I could actually see my chest heaving through my sweater. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to the doctor in work and was told that I was in atrial fibrillation. My heart rate was 202 bpm! They rushed me to the hospital where I went through all kinds of tests over the next 3 days. That was in Sept. '95 and that's when I was diagnosed with Graves' disease.

My Endo told me right from the beginning that I should have RAI done, but I decided I would try PTU for a year, because my sister-in-law had Graves' disease a few years earlier and had gone into remission after 6 months of PTU.

I wasn't so lucky. After yo-yoing up and down constantly during that year I decided that I couldn't stand the symptoms any longer. I had RAI done on October 2nd, 1996. In January I thought that I might be going hypo. I was starting to feel really tired and my joints started aching. I would fall asleep on the couch watching TV at around 9 p.m. So I called my Endo and he told me to go off the PTU. Within a week I started getting real jittery and the heart palps started coming back. I was hyper again.

I'm back on 4 PTU/day (right where I started almost 2 years ago) and sometimes I get really discouraged. The PTU does keep some of the Graves' symptoms at bay - the tremors have gone down dramatically, as well as the heart palps and diarrhea. But I feel like I have some hypo symptoms as well - every joint in my body is throbbing! Some days I feel hyper, and some days I feel exhausted.

I've decided that I'll give it till April (when it will be 6 months post-RAI), and if nothing happens by that time I'm going to nuke again. The only thing that keeps me from totally bumming out is that I've received e-mail from some people who have had RAI up to 3 times before going into remission.

This disease is horrible. If you're reading this you probably have Graves' disease or know someone who does. If so, I'd love to hear from you. Hang in there!

Paula           


Back to "Personal Stories"

You are visitor number

since 2004